Back on Instagram

A few weeks ago I made an Instagram account that was deleted by them after two, or three, days. Somehow, I violated the terms and conditions, but it wasn’t explained as to what I did to warrant the termination. I had emailed them stating I felt it was a mistake and let them know I had done nothing wrong. I still haven’t heard back from them. I was beyond agitated. I was done with them all together at that point, but I felt I should try it out one more time. It was my past experiences with the app that helped me with weight loss, become more mindful of my mental health, and helped me to stay accountable. If it wasn’t for those reasons I would have definitely given up.

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Credit: Mink Mingle

What I can say is, so far, so good. I’ve already ‘met’ a few people and have witnessed many inspiring personalities. I feel this will be helpful to my lifestyle changes. As long as I stay focused, that is. I have a tendency of focusing on one particular thing, then lose track of what I was previously working on. I’m awful at multitasking in my life, basically.

That’s all I have for now. Due to my anxiety attacks last night and lovely insomnia, I barely slept. I’m at work feeling like I am going to slam my face on the keyboard at any second. The last thing I need is to potentially break my nose and have keyboard keys embedded in my face.

Our Diet Bet

My boyfriend Paddy* and I have been complaining for a while about how we want to drop some pounds. We’re both overweight, me more than him, and we’re sick of living unhealthily. I’ve been doing what I can to be better, but if I’m being honest with myself I haven’t been putting in 100 percent. After some serious discussions, we have finally decided to put our words into action, together. To make it more of a fun experience and an interesting way to adopt healthier habits, and help make them stick, we opted to have a wager.

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credit: Justyn Warner

After three months, the one who is closest to their personal goals first wins a cash prize and gets to choose the destination of our vacation. We still have to do our ‘before’ photos, take our measurements, have a weigh-in, then write out our goals. Once that’s all situated its game on.

 

All of my life I’ve been overweight. Sure I’ve had my moments where I would lose a significant amount of weight, but before I knew it the weight would pile back on. I was doing the work, yet I wasn’t being consistent with living a healthier lifestyle. I was only treating it as a temporary thing.

“I’ll do what I have to do now and eventually be able to incorporate x,y,z back into my diet.” Yes, I know, mistakes were made…

Sometimes people can incorporate things back into their lives and have the ability to control it. Due to having depression and anxiety, I am an emotional eater. I’m just someone that cannot incorporate junk back into my diet. It’s like an addiction, but with food. I need to keep the crap away.

I just love the fact I can do this lifestyle overhaul with my boyfriend and feel like I can stay consistent this time around. When we put our minds to something, we push each other to keep going. Living a healthier life is not only something we want, but something we need. It’s nice to have that non-judgmental support beside you blended with some playful competition. It feels so cliché to say, but he really is one of my best friends. I’m glad this is something else we can do to have fun together while improving ourselves in the process.

Side note: Making this post is something that will help us both remain accountable. If I don’t post an update about this in a while, someone please give me a swift kick to the butt to remind me to update you guys haha
* Paddy is not his actual name, it’s a nickname. He’s a fairly private guy, so I’m not going to put his name out there unless he wants me to.

Lifestyle Overhaul

When I was working out three to five times a week, eating better, drinking my gallon of water a day, I was feeling better than I had in a long time. It wasn’t only because I was losing weight, I physically felt better. The lethargic feeling wasn’t as pronounced and my knees weren’t as sore.  With the simplest form of moving around, I felt lighter.

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Credit: Justyn Warner

Then I was hit with a mood drop.

My depression crept in like a predator scoping out their next meal after having starved for a while, then it went in for the kill. I lost the motivation and the appeal of being proactive regarding my ‘weight loss journey’. It caused me to become apathetic toward my goals and my health. I’ve been telling myself for the last of couple months that I should get myself into the gym and eating healthier, again, but I continued to wallow in my desolation. (Depression is a beast on its own and it can knock the strongest person right on their ass.)

I’ve decided that I am not calling this a weight loss journey anymore. This is a lifestyle overhaul. Health is not only important to my physical health, but from my own experience it had also helped improve my mental health.

Why did I discontinue something that had been so helpful before?

What I’ve asked myself and what helped me today is, do I want to allow this to continue having control over my life or do I want to take the reins back and get back on track? There comes a time when enough is enough.

I’ve finally hit that point.

This morning I drank a protein shake, started on my water, took my vitamins and I am already experiencing a positive change. Granted, I didn’t want to do it because I’m still experiencing some sort of the apathy, but I’m over feeling so defeated when I can actually do something about it.