I’ve written about three or four different drafts, but I can’t seem to figure out what I really want to say. I sit around and stare at the screen, or a piece of paper, for hours, hoping my words will come to me as they once did, but I found myself bottling everything up again.
The problem is I have no idea where to even begin. I know there are people out there who would/will say to start anywhere or with any topic, I’ve been one of those people, but it’s not as easy as it sounds right now. I just have so much going on and I can’t hit the pause button. I want to go back to a few months ago and say what I need to say, do what I need to do, but it’s too late.
And now I’m rambling. Awesome.
Guess I’ll roll with it until I hit a wall.
If I’m being honest with myself in this moment in time, I’m feeling pretty lost. My love for writing hit the back burner, I want to read books to distract myself, but I don’t know what I want to read. I want to talk, yet I don’t want to share my feelings. I’m finding myself hating everyone, again.
I’m a hot mess with depression and my insomnia is back.
Is it too much to ask to not feel so engulfed with depression and uncertainty?
It looks like I’m done for now.